The Tale of Tales
Drew: do do do driving a taxi la la la there's someone to pick up
Chris: la la la driving a Ice cream truck do do do there's some kids to drive away from
Drew: hello miss
Meagan: Airport please
Drew: well I don't have an airport this is a taxi
Meagan: no I mean please take me to the airport
Drew: oh right....so you going some where
Meagan: um yeah I'm going to Boston
Drew: ah New York is lovely right now
Meagan: um Boston isn't in New York
Drew: oh sorry that's right, California right?
Meagan: sure
Chris: now it's showing me hello children
Child: one ice cream sandwich please
Other Child: and one Popsicle
Chris: you are a couple of assholes and maybe, just maybe you can go F*** yourselves
Drew: now it's me alright here's the airport
Meagan: here's some money
Drew: no no I don't need I mean after what we've been through
Meagan: um OK
Drew: eh um what about a hug
Meagan: um OK
Drew: mmmmmmmmmmm OK
Meagan: have a good day then
Nick: alright she should leave the suitcase in the seat come on
Drew: oh no she forgot her case better get it, oh my door is locked looks like I'm driving in then
Nick: alright James get it
Drew: not so fast! mine!
Nick: what the heck
Drew: well that taxi is wrecked better run and get her, darn the plane just left....wow that was fast
James: darn he got it
Nick: come on we'll follow him
A few hours later...
Drew: hey Chris
Chris: hey Drew
Drew:how was your day
Chris: well I got fired
Drew: really me too
Chris: huh alright
Drew: so I got this briefcase
Chris: where'd you get that
Drew: it's this women's briefcase she left at the airport
Chris: what's in it
Drew: you'd have to be a lowlife to look inside someone's briefcase
Chris: is it locked
Drew: yeah and really well
Chris: well what are we going to do there's no open jobs in town
Drew: I know! we can go where the money flow like mountains......Boston!
Chris: Boston.....wait a minute you just want to go there to give this Girl her Briefcase
Drew: yes I do
Chris: alright lets go
Drew: awesome
Chris: to the Turtle Mobile!!!
Drew: where'd you get this
Chris: I spent my whole life saving on it...it has great gas mileage and can get to extreme speeds and looks like a turtle
Drew: awesome
Chris: what's our travel money
Drew: it's uh 70
Chris: 70 dollars? I guess that's alright
Drew: no 70 cents
Chris: what!?! we have to drive across Canada and the lower 48 on 70 cents what happened to our money
Drew: well we had 125 dollars but then I bought a whole bunch of gumballs
Chris; well what happened to the Gum balls
Drew: I dumped them out a window
Chris: well I guess if they were wasted to a good cause
James: alright Nick they're leaving in a um.......Turtle
Nick: lets follow them
James: alright
Drew: wait I have an idea to get some money stop here
Chris: I hope you're not going to rob this place
Drew: just watch
Cashier: hello sir
Drew: may I have the cash register
Cashier: sure go ahead
Drew: thanks
Chris: wow how much is in there
Drew: 117 dollars
Chris: nice
James: he just robbed a store in like 5 seconds
Nick: these guys are good
James: yeah
Drew: tag you're it
Chris: tag you're it
Drew: tag you're it
Chris: TAG! you're it
Drew: TAG! YOU'RE IT!!!
Chris: No you're it!!!!
Drew: NO! you're it!
Chris: AAAAHAHHHHHHHHH YOU'RE IT!!!
Drew:NO YOU!!!!
Chris: (pulls a gun out) no Drew you're it
Drew: alright alright I'm it
Chris: good good
Drew: hey Chris
Chris: yeah
Drew: why aren't flying there
Chris: um I don't think we have the money
Drew: oh why don't we take a ship to the lower 48 then drive across it would save time and money
Chris: there's a ship
Drew: yeah
Chris: activate Turtle Chopper
Drew: what are you doing
Chris: Flying onto the lower levels of the ship so we can sail for free
Drew: cool
Chris: we're in
Drew: now we just have to blend in
Chris: we're in a Turtle that's going to be hard
Drew: well lets just go on the deck and try to blend in
Chris: alright no one seems suspicious
Drew: calm down Old lady !!!!
Old Lady: calm down, are you nervous
Drew: um yeah
Old Lady: First Time?
Drew: No I've been nervous tons of times
Old Lady: no I mean first time on a boat
Drew: oh no it's just we got on the ship on a flying turtle car and we didn't pay for our tickets and were nervous someone will find us
Chris: dang it Drew!!!
Sailor: get them
Drew: we better run
Chris: no really I thought we'd just stand here
Old Lady: hands up right now
Drew: crap she has a gun
Chris: but what she doesn't have is the bullets
Old Lady: Darn I always lose them
Drew: come on
Sailor: I don't think so we have you surrounded
Drew: wait just here me through.....mutiny
Sailor: sounds like a solid plan
Drew: alright lets do it
Sailor: yeah mutiny !!!!!
one mutiny later....
Drew: now we have our own ship
Chris: too bad we crashed into port
Drew: yeah we should go before the cops come
Chris: to the Turtle Mobile !!!!
Drew: back on the open road
Chris: wait what's going on
Drew: I think it's an Earthquake
Chris: no it's much worse....
Drew: oh my non religious god it's something of pure evil
Chris: it used to be liked but then did terrible movies and become a monster
Drew/Chris: It's Jonah Hill !!!!!
Drew: look his army of the undead
Leslie Nelson: don't worry Drew and Chris I'll save you
Drew: Leslie Nelson! we thought you were dead
Leslie Nelson: no...I was REBORN
Chris: haha he quoted one of our sketches
Leslie Nelson: now time to take care on Jonah Hill.......FROM WHICH YOU CAME YOU SHALL REMAIN UNTIL YOU ARE COMPLETE AGAIN
Jonah Hill: nnnooooooo!!!!
Chris: Drew!!! Drew!!! hey Drew wake up!!!!
Drew: freaking seriously that was a dream....uhhhh my life sucks
Chris: what was your Dream about
Drew: just don't...just don't look at me I don't want to know you're in this world right now
Chris: what did I do
Drew: just don't exist right now
Chris: um OK
Drew: I really just want to kill you right now
To be Continued..,..
This part of "Tale of Tales" includes humor from "Dumb and Dumber" and "Airplane!"
Chris: la la la driving a Ice cream truck do do do there's some kids to drive away from
Drew: hello miss
Meagan: Airport please
Drew: well I don't have an airport this is a taxi
Meagan: no I mean please take me to the airport
Drew: oh right....so you going some where
Meagan: um yeah I'm going to Boston
Drew: ah New York is lovely right now
Meagan: um Boston isn't in New York
Drew: oh sorry that's right, California right?
Meagan: sure
Chris: now it's showing me hello children
Child: one ice cream sandwich please
Other Child: and one Popsicle
Chris: you are a couple of assholes and maybe, just maybe you can go F*** yourselves
Drew: now it's me alright here's the airport
Meagan: here's some money
Drew: no no I don't need I mean after what we've been through
Meagan: um OK
Drew: eh um what about a hug
Meagan: um OK
Drew: mmmmmmmmmmm OK
Meagan: have a good day then
Nick: alright she should leave the suitcase in the seat come on
Drew: oh no she forgot her case better get it, oh my door is locked looks like I'm driving in then
Nick: alright James get it
Drew: not so fast! mine!
Nick: what the heck
Drew: well that taxi is wrecked better run and get her, darn the plane just left....wow that was fast
James: darn he got it
Nick: come on we'll follow him
A few hours later...
Drew: hey Chris
Chris: hey Drew
Drew:how was your day
Chris: well I got fired
Drew: really me too
Chris: huh alright
Drew: so I got this briefcase
Chris: where'd you get that
Drew: it's this women's briefcase she left at the airport
Chris: what's in it
Drew: you'd have to be a lowlife to look inside someone's briefcase
Chris: is it locked
Drew: yeah and really well
Chris: well what are we going to do there's no open jobs in town
Drew: I know! we can go where the money flow like mountains......Boston!
Chris: Boston.....wait a minute you just want to go there to give this Girl her Briefcase
Drew: yes I do
Chris: alright lets go
Drew: awesome
Chris: to the Turtle Mobile!!!
Drew: where'd you get this
Chris: I spent my whole life saving on it...it has great gas mileage and can get to extreme speeds and looks like a turtle
Drew: awesome
Chris: what's our travel money
Drew: it's uh 70
Chris: 70 dollars? I guess that's alright
Drew: no 70 cents
Chris: what!?! we have to drive across Canada and the lower 48 on 70 cents what happened to our money
Drew: well we had 125 dollars but then I bought a whole bunch of gumballs
Chris; well what happened to the Gum balls
Drew: I dumped them out a window
Chris: well I guess if they were wasted to a good cause
James: alright Nick they're leaving in a um.......Turtle
Nick: lets follow them
James: alright
Drew: wait I have an idea to get some money stop here
Chris: I hope you're not going to rob this place
Drew: just watch
Cashier: hello sir
Drew: may I have the cash register
Cashier: sure go ahead
Drew: thanks
Chris: wow how much is in there
Drew: 117 dollars
Chris: nice
James: he just robbed a store in like 5 seconds
Nick: these guys are good
James: yeah
Drew: tag you're it
Chris: tag you're it
Drew: tag you're it
Chris: TAG! you're it
Drew: TAG! YOU'RE IT!!!
Chris: No you're it!!!!
Drew: NO! you're it!
Chris: AAAAHAHHHHHHHHH YOU'RE IT!!!
Drew:NO YOU!!!!
Chris: (pulls a gun out) no Drew you're it
Drew: alright alright I'm it
Chris: good good
Drew: hey Chris
Chris: yeah
Drew: why aren't flying there
Chris: um I don't think we have the money
Drew: oh why don't we take a ship to the lower 48 then drive across it would save time and money
Chris: there's a ship
Drew: yeah
Chris: activate Turtle Chopper
Drew: what are you doing
Chris: Flying onto the lower levels of the ship so we can sail for free
Drew: cool
Chris: we're in
Drew: now we just have to blend in
Chris: we're in a Turtle that's going to be hard
Drew: well lets just go on the deck and try to blend in
Chris: alright no one seems suspicious
Drew: calm down Old lady !!!!
Old Lady: calm down, are you nervous
Drew: um yeah
Old Lady: First Time?
Drew: No I've been nervous tons of times
Old Lady: no I mean first time on a boat
Drew: oh no it's just we got on the ship on a flying turtle car and we didn't pay for our tickets and were nervous someone will find us
Chris: dang it Drew!!!
Sailor: get them
Drew: we better run
Chris: no really I thought we'd just stand here
Old Lady: hands up right now
Drew: crap she has a gun
Chris: but what she doesn't have is the bullets
Old Lady: Darn I always lose them
Drew: come on
Sailor: I don't think so we have you surrounded
Drew: wait just here me through.....mutiny
Sailor: sounds like a solid plan
Drew: alright lets do it
Sailor: yeah mutiny !!!!!
one mutiny later....
Drew: now we have our own ship
Chris: too bad we crashed into port
Drew: yeah we should go before the cops come
Chris: to the Turtle Mobile !!!!
Drew: back on the open road
Chris: wait what's going on
Drew: I think it's an Earthquake
Chris: no it's much worse....
Drew: oh my non religious god it's something of pure evil
Chris: it used to be liked but then did terrible movies and become a monster
Drew/Chris: It's Jonah Hill !!!!!
Drew: look his army of the undead
Leslie Nelson: don't worry Drew and Chris I'll save you
Drew: Leslie Nelson! we thought you were dead
Leslie Nelson: no...I was REBORN
Chris: haha he quoted one of our sketches
Leslie Nelson: now time to take care on Jonah Hill.......FROM WHICH YOU CAME YOU SHALL REMAIN UNTIL YOU ARE COMPLETE AGAIN
Jonah Hill: nnnooooooo!!!!
Chris: Drew!!! Drew!!! hey Drew wake up!!!!
Drew: freaking seriously that was a dream....uhhhh my life sucks
Chris: what was your Dream about
Drew: just don't...just don't look at me I don't want to know you're in this world right now
Chris: what did I do
Drew: just don't exist right now
Chris: um OK
Drew: I really just want to kill you right now
To be Continued..,..
This part of "Tale of Tales" includes humor from "Dumb and Dumber" and "Airplane!"