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  • Credits
  • Instructing
  • Untitled
  • Madi Christ

The Tale of Tales

Drew: do do do driving a taxi la la la there's someone to pick up 

Chris: la la la driving a Ice cream truck do do do there's some kids to drive away from 

Drew: hello miss 

Meagan: Airport please

Drew: well I don't have an airport this is a taxi

Meagan: no I mean please take me to the airport 

Drew: oh right....so you going some where

Meagan: um yeah I'm going to Boston 

Drew: ah New York is lovely right now

Meagan: um Boston isn't in New York

Drew: oh sorry that's right, California right?

Meagan: sure 

Chris: now it's showing me hello children

Child: one ice cream sandwich please 

Other Child: and one Popsicle

Chris: you are a couple of assholes and maybe, just maybe you can go F*** yourselves

Drew: now it's me alright here's the airport 

Meagan: here's some money

Drew: no no I don't need I mean after what we've been through

Meagan: um OK 

Drew: eh um what about a hug

Meagan: um OK

Drew: mmmmmmmmmmm OK

Meagan: have a good day then 

Nick: alright she should leave the suitcase in the seat come on

Drew: oh no she forgot her case better get it, oh my door is locked looks like I'm driving in then 

Nick: alright James get it

Drew: not so fast! mine!

Nick: what the heck 

Drew: well that taxi is wrecked better run and get her, darn the plane just left....wow that was fast

James: darn he got it

Nick: come on we'll follow him 

A few hours later...

Drew: hey Chris

Chris: hey Drew

Drew:how was your day

Chris: well I got fired

Drew: really me too 

Chris: huh alright

Drew: so I got this briefcase

Chris: where'd you get that

Drew: it's this women's briefcase she left at the airport 

Chris: what's in it

Drew: you'd have to be a lowlife to look inside someone's briefcase

Chris: is it locked 

Drew: yeah and really well 

Chris: well what are we going to do there's no open jobs in town 

Drew: I know! we can go where the money flow like mountains......Boston!

Chris: Boston.....wait a minute you just want to go there to give this Girl her Briefcase 

Drew: yes I do 

Chris: alright lets go

Drew: awesome

Chris: to the Turtle Mobile!!!

Drew: where'd you get this

Chris: I spent my whole life saving on it...it has great gas mileage and can get to extreme speeds and looks like a turtle 

Drew: awesome 

Chris: what's our travel money 

Drew:  it's uh 70 

Chris: 70 dollars? I guess that's alright

Drew: no 70 cents 

Chris: what!?! we have to drive across Canada and the lower 48 on 70 cents what happened to our money 

Drew: well we had 125  dollars but then I bought a whole bunch of gumballs

Chris; well what happened to the Gum balls

Drew: I dumped them out a window 

Chris: well I guess if they were wasted to a good cause

James: alright Nick they're leaving in a um.......Turtle 

Nick: lets follow them

James: alright 

Drew: wait I have an idea to get some money stop here

Chris: I hope you're not going to rob this place 

Drew: just watch 

Cashier: hello sir

Drew: may I have the cash register 

Cashier: sure go ahead 

Drew: thanks

Chris: wow how much is in there

Drew: 117 dollars 

Chris: nice

James: he just  robbed a store in like 5 seconds

Nick: these guys are good 

James: yeah

Drew: tag you're it

Chris: tag you're it 

Drew: tag you're it

Chris: TAG! you're it

Drew: TAG! YOU'RE IT!!!

Chris: No you're it!!!!

Drew: NO! you're it!

Chris: AAAAHAHHHHHHHHH YOU'RE IT!!!

Drew:NO YOU!!!!

Chris: (pulls a gun out) no Drew you're it

Drew: alright alright I'm it

Chris: good good

Drew: hey Chris

Chris: yeah

Drew: why aren't flying there

Chris: um I don't think we have the money

Drew: oh why don't we take a ship to the lower 48 then drive across it would save time and money

Chris: there's a ship 

Drew: yeah

Chris: activate Turtle Chopper 

Drew: what are you doing

Chris: Flying onto the lower levels of the ship so we can sail for free

Drew: cool 

Chris: we're in

Drew: now we just have to blend in

Chris: we're in a Turtle that's going to be hard

Drew: well lets just go on the deck and try to blend in 

Chris: alright no one seems suspicious

Drew:  calm down Old lady !!!!

Old Lady: calm down, are you nervous

Drew: um yeah

Old Lady: First Time?

Drew: No I've been nervous tons of times

Old Lady: no I mean first time on a boat

Drew: oh no it's just we got on the ship on a flying turtle car and we didn't pay for our tickets and were nervous someone will find us

Chris: dang it Drew!!!

Sailor: get them

Drew: we better run

Chris: no really I thought we'd just stand here

Old Lady: hands up right now

Drew: crap she has a gun 

Chris: but what she doesn't have is the bullets

Old Lady: Darn I always lose them

Drew: come on 

Sailor: I don't think so we have you surrounded

Drew: wait just here me through.....mutiny 

Sailor: sounds like a solid plan

Drew: alright lets do it 

Sailor: yeah mutiny !!!!!

one mutiny later....

Drew: now we have our own ship

Chris: too bad we crashed into port 

Drew: yeah we should go before the cops come

Chris: to the Turtle Mobile !!!!

Drew: back on the open road

Chris: wait what's going on 

Drew: I think it's an Earthquake 

Chris: no it's much worse....

Drew: oh my non religious god it's something of pure evil

Chris: it used to be liked but then did terrible movies and become a monster

Drew/Chris: It's Jonah Hill !!!!!

Drew: look his army of the undead 

Leslie Nelson: don't worry Drew and Chris I'll save you

Drew: Leslie Nelson! we thought you were dead

Leslie Nelson: no...I was REBORN 

Chris: haha he quoted one of our sketches 

Leslie Nelson: now time to take care on Jonah Hill.......FROM WHICH YOU CAME YOU SHALL REMAIN UNTIL YOU ARE COMPLETE AGAIN

Jonah Hill: nnnooooooo!!!!

Chris: Drew!!! Drew!!! hey Drew wake up!!!!

Drew: freaking seriously that was a dream....uhhhh my life sucks 

Chris: what was your Dream about

Drew: just don't...just don't look at me I don't want to know you're in this world right now

Chris: what did I do 

Drew: just don't exist right now 

Chris: um OK

Drew: I really just want to kill you right now 

To be Continued..,..

This part of "Tale of Tales" includes humor from "Dumb and Dumber" and "Airplane!"




















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