ANDREW GOLD!!!!!!!
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  • ADS
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  • Instructing
  • Untitled
  • Madi Christ

Family

Oriana: Meagan, Drew, Jacob time for diner 

Meagan: here

Drew: here

Jacob: here
Chris: now kids we're out of Milk so your gonna have vodka instead

Meagan: but I'm 14 and the twins are 7 

Chris: oh right here are some silly straws


Drew: what's this Oriana; it's a new recipe Drew try it 

Drew: I don't wanna 

Oriana: just try it

Drew: no!

Oriana: no desert then 

Drew: OK, blah!Oriana: oh come on 

Drew: blah!, blah!, blah!

Oriana: put it in your napkin 

Drew: BLAH!

Oriana: fine I'll take it 

Chris: come now son it can't be that bad (take a bite) mmm uh uh bbbbllllllaaaaaahahhhhhh (barfing)

Oriana: oh good god 

Chris: uh! that's terrible ew!

Meagan: I think I lost my appetite 

Jacob: I'll try it, BBBBBBBLLLLLLAAAAHHHHH

Oriana: I think I'll try a different recipe tomorrow night 

Next Day.....

Drew: Mom why were you and Dad Hammering stuff in your room 

Oriana: uh um 

Chris: son let me explain you see when a mommy and a Dad...

Oriana: OFF TO SCHOOL!

Meagan: but Mom the middle school is 4 miles away !

Jacob: what was Dad talking about 

Oriana: get out!

At school....

Drew: Jacob look there's a talent show 

Jacob: we could do that 

Caleb: what are gonna do be nerds 

Jacob: I don't know are you doing bad insults for your talent 

Caleb: OK you got me, but I'll get you 

At other school....

Chelsey: Meagan why are so late 

Meagan: I had to walk 

Chelsey: well anyways there's a party in on Friday want to come 

Meagan: sure 

Chelsey: now lets talk 

Drew: how about you don't, and we move on the home 

Meagan: I'm home Chris: I heard the door open you don't need to tell me 

Meagan: well anyways there's a party on Friday can I go 

Chris: OK but no beer until you finish your Vodka 

Drew: were home 

Chris: I figured, whats with the underwear 

Jacob: Caleb gave us wedgies 

Chris: oh did he well tomorrow I'll give a knife and you can teach him a lesson 

Drew: thanks Dad

Jacob: come on Drew lets go have an adventure 

Drew: yeah lets go to Mom and Dads room and look at whatever they built 

Jacob: yeah

Drew: I don't see it 

Jacob: maybe it's under the bed 

Drew: lets check  

Jacob: what's that 

Drew: I don't know some short of sugar 

Jacob: looks fine lets smell it 

Drew: OK

Drew,andJacob: wwwhhhhhhhhoooooaaaaaa!

Drew: what just happened 

Jacob: I don't know 

Chris: hey you guys got into my drugs get out of there, those are mine 

Drew: sorry Dad

Chris: wait a minute that just sugar, huh 

The Next day at school...

Jacob: hey Caleb

Caleb: what?

Drew: DDDDDDDIIIIIEEEEEE!

Jacob: AAAAHHHHHHHH!

Later 

Oriana: Principal I'm here what did  they do 

Principal: they stabbed Caleb 57 times in the chest 

Chris: you got caught! I'm very disappointed

Principal: now I was going to expel them but they paid me 20 bucks not to so I wont 

Chris: good job boys 

Oriana: how is that a good job 

Back Home....

Chris: Meagan your vodka is getting warm 

Meagan: I don't want it 

Chris: fine but you're not getting any beer 

Meagan: OK

Chris: don't argue with me

Meagan: I'm not 

Chris: don't talk back to me missy or it'll be 1 week in the hole 

Meagan: what?

Chris: 3 weeks? you want 3 weeks 

Meagan: I'm not talking back 

Chris: 5 weeks!

Oriana: Chris stop 

Chris: I'M A WIZARD AND WILL NOT TAKE THIS FROM THE LIKES OF YOU

Drew: mom 

Jacob: mom 

Drew: mom 

Jacob: mom Drew: mom 

Jacob: mom 

Oriana: WHAT! I SWEAR IF YOU SAY HI I WILL KILL YOU

Drew: bye hahahhahahahha 

Chris: hahha they got you!

Jacob: anyways we have a talent show tomorrow 

Oriana: what are you doing 

Drew: YO MAMA!

Chris: oh dang! they got you twice!

Oriana: two bottles of wine during pregnancy and these happen 

Jacob: well it's tomorrow so lets go to tomorrow

Chris: which is Thursday

Next day....

Oriana: I think Drew and Jacob are next 

Chris: good this is a terrible show 

Drew: hello audience 

Jacob: we will be singing a song by Queen 

Drew,and Jacob: AAAARRRRRREEEEEE you gonna take me home tonight? AAAAHHHHHHHH down beside that red firelight, AAAAARRRRRRREEEEE you gonna give it all you got? Fat bottom girls you make the rockin' world go round!

Oriana: oh dear god 

Chris: that's my boys

Drew,andJacob: HEY! I was just a skinny lad never knew no good from bad, but I knew life before I left my Nursery, left alone with big fat fanny, she was such a naughty Nanny, HEY BIG WOMEN YOU MADE A BAD BOY OUT OF ME!

Later...

Oriana: this is your fault Chris you screwed up this Family, your daughter is now drinking vodka, the boys have done drugs killed a boy and sung Fat bottom girls

Chris: fine I'll just leave 

Drew: Daddy!

Jacob: Mom is this our fault 

Oriana: honey honey look at me, it's pretty much all your fault 

Chris: hey there viewers we think this sketch was distasty  

Drew: This sketch seemed better in my mind 

Chris: so please forgive us for this sketch








 







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