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  • Untitled
  • Madi Christ

Job

CHRIS: James could you come in my office please

JAMES: yes sir (standing by the door) what do you need

CHRIS: well you see.......PINWHEEL! 

JAMES: yes that's very....

CHRIS: you're fired

JAMES: wait....WHAT?

CHRIS: you're fired

JAMES: what was the pinwheel for?

Chris: that was just a distraction,it also softens the blow

JAMES: but why?

CHRIS: get out your fired

JAMES: but I have a wife and three kids

CHRIS: well, YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE YOU DID A TERRIBLE JOB!

James: oh well um....

CHRIS: GET OUT!

JAMES:(running out) OK

Chris: ah now that he's gone, Nick could you come in here

Nick: yes sir

CHRIS:(holding a tissue to his nose) ah ah ah ah you're fired

NICK: did you sneeze or tell me I'm fired

CHRIS: I sneezed

NICK: oh OK then why do you need me

CHRIS: well you see Nick (while coughing) you're fired

NICK: you did it again did you cough or tell me I'm fired

CHRIS: I coughed well you see Nick (while yawning) you're fired

NICK: sir are you firing me

CHRIS: nope I'm just (drinking water) you're fired

NICK: see you just drank water and in the middle said that I'm fired

CHRIS: no no no I'm not firing you

NICK: then why'd you call me in

CHRIS: oh because someone is on fire in the parking garage they need you right now

Nick: WHAT! OH GOD!! (RUNNING OUT THE DOOR)

CHRIS: theme song! (pointing to camera)

BU BUUUUUUU BU BU BU BUUUUUU BUUUUUUUUUUU BU BU BU BUB BUUUUUU DO DO DO BU BU BU BA BUUUUUUUU

DREW: sir  I was looking at our stocks.

CHRIS: and?

DREW: we have no stocks

CHRIS: oh

DREW: I don't think we do that sort of stuff

CHRIS: what is it that we do?

DREW: I have no idea sir

INTERVIEW

DREW:(looks to camera) yeah I've worked here seven years I have no idea what it is we do, I mean the business is called "Job"and I do a different thing everyday

END OF INTERVIEW

CHRIS: alright well come back to me with different stocks then

DREW: we have no stocks

CHRIS: well make some up

MEAGAN: oh sir I got a shipment request they want more lettuce

CHRIS: are we a Farming company

MEAGAN: I don't know

INTERVIEW

MEAGAN:(looks to camera) yeah I get shipment requests from all over 

END OF INTERVIEW

CHRIS: anything else

MEAGAN: we also got a request for twenty elephants and one banana 

CHRIS: just one?

MEAGAN: yeah just one banana 

CHRIS: well give them what they want

DREW: oh hey Nick the bakery called

NICK: what they'd want

DREW: they wanted there ROLLS back

NICK: oh, nice a fat joke

DREW: no, even though your fat they actually lost some rolls they think you have them

NICK let me check, ah yeah here they are

INTERVIEW

NICK:(looks to camera) Drew is a good worker at whatever we do, but everyday it's a new fat joke, everyday, I don't know where he gets them

END OF INTERVIEW

DREW: hey Meagan the goth club are coming for a tour

MEAGAN: not them again

DREW: I know, can you give them a tour

MEAGAN: no I gave them one last time

DREW: I don't want to do it

MEAGAN: I'm not doing it

DREW: uh fine, but you have to make some stocks

MEAGAN: that's not my job

DREW: Meagan: you don't know what your job is, you could be in the Air Force for all we know

MEAGAN: yeah fine

REES: hi I'm with the goth club

DREW: AH DEATH!

REES: oh well we're not the goth club anymore it's just this stuff takes a while to come off anyways now we're the better schools for kids club

DREW: oh that's way better, so what'd you need

REES: well um what is this place, because I don't know if we need your help or not

DREW: I'm pretty sure we're everything

INTERVIEW

DREW:(looks to camera) yeah I'm just going with "everything" now, what a nice change, the better school for kids, wait what if they're pedophiles, ah whatever it sounds helpful

INTERVIEW

REES: yeah we're actually homeless we just make up these clubs to get in here and sleep for a while, we've made 23 different clubs

END OF INTERVIEW

MEAGAN: Drew here's those stocks

DREW: these look a little big

MEAGAN: yeah I sneezed and the sharpie made a huge mark

DREW: alright

CHRIS: Drew do you have those stocks

DREW: yes sir they're off the charts

CHRIS:then we need bigger charts

DREW: I'll get right on that, so I'm going home

CHRIS: stay here a moment

DREW: nah I'm good

CHRIS: then I'll fire you

DREW: from what?

CHRIS: good point, well wait, do you think we have magical doors somewhere, where we go into the monster world and scare them and use there screams for power

DREW: yup and then a monster child comes in and we have a huge adventure

CHRIS: so we can be Humans Inc.

DREW: yup sounds good

CHRIS: yes yes it does

DREW: oh wait they already did that

CHRIS: what? really?

DREW: yeah it's called Monster's Inc.

CHRIS: oh

DREW: yeah here's the movie

CHRIS: well see you tomorrow

DREW: goodbye sir

INTERVIEW

CHRIS: man I really liked that door Idea

INTERVIEW...

NICK:(looks to camera) I get one hundred dollars an hour for doing nothing, once I just came here and put a bunch of staples in one piece of paper and got a raise 

CHRIS: (comes into interview) attention everyone PINWHEEL!! you're all fired!!

NICK: crap























































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