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  • Madi Christ

                                                         
                                                           STAR BIRDS     
                                                            Episode Vl                                                                                                                          Return of The Good Song                                                                                               
                                       Hopefully you've all seen Star Wars now,
                                        Because Communist aren't aloud here
                              So just to clear some things. First me (Drew) being Han,
                                 and Meagan being Leia has no love connection alright.
                                    Second we're not following the story perfectly 
                          Because we don't care that much and you should know the story
                                       Third, again were not following the Story exactly
                                             It's too long and is a pain to right
                  Finally, we actually haven't used humor from other Star Wars sketches
                                            alright well  lets start the sketch 

                                       

James: I don't have a good feeling about this

Nick: what's the worse that could happen It's not like  Chris is selling us through this transmission 

James: alright lets head into Jabbas Palace 

Nick: why isn't it opening 

Oriana: yeah its broken 

Nick: oh

Oriana: yeah here I'll open this door for you 

James: um are we aloud in/

Oriana: why would I know

James:uh well....ah forget it 

Nick: There's Christen the Hut 

Christen: jappa wabba flubo 

James: um hi I'm CP-James-O and this is R2-Nick-2

Christen: wambo clubo Glee sucks 

James: we bring a message from Master Chris Skywalker 

Christen: wookie fookie High Fructose Corn Syrup 

James: alright Nick play transmission 

Nick: do you understand him

James: I may understand  600 different languages but I think hes just speaking gibberish

Nick: ah  I'll play transmission 

Chris: hello great Christen, so uh Drew Solo is a lot more important to us then these two droids, so uh take them for Drew

Christen: flubo woba sounds good weeble 

Chris: actually we hate them so much that you should just take them they're so freaking annoying just take them 

Christen: Ragged Flaggen alright 

Nick: in the real movie he doesn't say that, but really that's what he means 

Meagan: well ReesBacca lets see if this works 

Christen: ah the Great Reesbacca weebo feebo 

Meagan: I expect the full bounty 

Christen: why should I give the full amount to you jeeblah me moo 

Meagan: because I'm holding a recording of Number nine 

Christen: weeboo woobee no no don't play it, stay as long as you want

A few hours later....

Meagan: here's Drew...lets see how do I open this .....here we go 

Drew: ah where am I...I can't see 

Meagan: it's OK you just suffering from Hyperna....no...hyperspa.....no....um you're suffering from something that starts with hyper

Drew: who is this 

Meagan: someone who lov..do I really have to say this

Director: yes you do 

Meagan: uhhh someone who loves you

Drew: Elaine!!!!

Meagan: no this is Meagan....Princess Meagan 

Drew: right how are you 

Meagan: uhhh...

Drew: I'm sorry....lets just look past that and Kiss 

Christen: ha ha ha moogle foogle 

Drew: by the way viewers Elaine Is the girl from Airplane! thought I'd share that 

Christen: fleeble jleeble 

Drew: wait I know that voice anywhere.....it's Christen The Hut 

Meagan: well he does kinda just say random crap...it's kinda easy to know his voice 

Christen: uba oba take them away neenoo 

Rees: RAWR!!

Drew: Rees is that you

Rees: yeah....so wheres my twenty bucks

Drew: what?

Rees: oh right the sickness...is uh has memory loss...yeah so you oh me twenty dollars 

Drew: oh then I'll give you that when we get out 

meanwhile...

Chris: good day sir 

Christen: we have a huge door to block these people out... man that's why I bought it yoboo gooooble fgooben 

Chris: I'm here for my friends     

Christen: nope

Chris: well

Christen: now how about you stand on that spot that's not a trap door

Chris: OK

James: sir that's a trap door

Chris: what aaaahhhhhhh !!!!

Christen: release the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man  oboeo fluteo druma


Chris: man should of brought a light saber with me

Stay Puff Marshmallow man: rawr! 

Bill Murray: Chris! catch 

Chris: wow one of those cool ghost shooter thing o mo bobers thanks Bill Murray

Bill Murray: any time kid 

Chris: alright take this Marshmallow

Stay Puff Marshmallow Man: rarw!!!

Chris: hes going to explode

Stay Puff Marshmallow man: nah just messing with you

Chris: ah crap....Wait look BUTTONS!!!! I'm going to throw a rock at them

Christen: muggle waggle crap he closed the giant door  on him huuggle

Chris: there's marshmallow everywhere 

Christen: luggle take him away hugol fgol

Drew: Chris is that you

Chris: yeah

Drew: how are you

Chris: good how are you

Drew: well I'm blind

Chris: oh right

Drew: where are we 

Chris; right in front of Christen 

Drew: wheres Meagan is she alright 

Chris: yeah right now shes in a bikini thing sitting in a seductive pose 

Drew: why do I have to be blind

Chris: well now were going on some flying boat things 


Drew: now whats happening 

Chris: now were passing a caption that says a few hours later

A few hours later....

Drew: where are we

Chris: I think were going to be thrown into a giant anus in the desert

Drew: well I been through weirder 

Chris: weirder then waking up being blind then being thrown into a giant anus

Drew: well this one time I....

James: The Great Christen will take your pity now before being I'm sorry what this is some bull crap I'm not saying this

Chris: this is your last chance Christen set us free or be destroyed 

Christen: hahahahaha toball Glee still sucks yaak hippu 

Chris: (nods)

Nick: (nods)

Meagan: (nods)

James: (nods)

Caleb: (nods)

Drew: (is blind)

Chris: lets do this LLLLLEEEEERRRRRROOOOOOYYYYY JJJJJEEEENNNNKKKKIIIINNNNSSSSSS!!!!

Nick: here's your light saber catch

Chris: oh didn't expect this did you....and you laughed....what now because I have a lightsaber

Caleb: Drew this way 

Chris: oh what now....I a freaking Jedi

Christen: Zacko Fett get them

Zack: OK

Meagan:(wrapping chain around Christen)'s neck ha whose the one with the chain now christen

Christen: someone help I'm choking will someone help Guards !!! aahhhhh

Chris: Hulk to fat...Flash to fast...and Cyclops just plain ugly....I'm a freaking jedi

Zack: pew too pew too 

Caleb: ah I fell 

Drew; what I was just grabbing this bar

Zack: ah you hit me ahhhh this was a lame death

Caleb: help

Drew: here I shoot you out

Caleb: but your blind 

Drew: I'm getting my sight back ah here's a gun

Caleb:  that's a grenade

Drew: oh here's a blaster 

Caleb; Ok that is but I'm not sure you sould be shooting

Drew: pew too pew too pew too pew too Got you

Caleb: well you freed me but you also shot me three times

Drew: whoops

Chris: I don't use Pam beacause my cookies don't stick because I'm a freaking Jedi

Meagan: hey over here

Chris: OK lets go

Drew: pew too pew too pew too  am I getting them

Caleb: no we've left 

Drew: oh 

Caleb: yeah 

Drew: I call Driving 

Caleb: darn it

At the Ships...

Chris: I'll meet you at the post I'm going to Dagobar 

Drew: alright kid we'll me you there

At Dagobar...

Nick: this place sucks 

Jacob: hey Chris

Nick: oh great this guy 

Chris: Jacob I want to be a Jedi Master

Jacob: you already are 

Chris: really

Jacob: not really...

Chris; then how

Jacob:I'd tell you but I'm going to die now

Chris: wait what 

Jacob: yes but first I'll tell you how to become a Jedi Master 

Chris: Yes please

Jacob: Conor hes your father you must confront him

Chris: I thought so but how

Jacob; I'd tell but I'm dead

Chris: darn it

Cam: hey Jacob the cookies are done....oh hes dead

Chris: Cam?

Cam: hey 

Chris: Conor's my father?

Cam: yup and you have a sister

Chris: who

Cam: Meagan is....I mean shes the only women in the whole universe 

Chris; gross

Cam: why

Chris: she totally made out with me

Cam: but she just punched me 

Chris: we're going by the script !!!!

Cam: OK OK

Chris: OK viewers we all know the story hopefully so lets skip to Endor when we've all been captured 

Drew: nice going Rees

Rees: hey I didn't think there'd be a trp there

Chris; why would a Xbox be just laying around in a jungle!!!

Rees: I don't know

Drew: and James really you're just acting like a godto them

James: yup

Chris; tell them you'll use your magical power on them if they don't let us free 

James: yeah sure.....kill them all and don't stop even if I tell you to

Chris: duh naaa duh na na na nuh na na

Ewok: wow...hes singin a cool but smooth hum quick let cut him loose 

Drew: nice Chris

Meagan: hey guys

Chris: why didn't you help us

Meagan: sorry the Ewoks were braiding my hair

Chris: BULL.....CRAP!!!

Meanwhile.... 

Conor: hi we don't really care for this scene

Later...

Chris: I'm going to turn myself over to Dark Conor

Meagan: why

Chris: because I'm danger to you...and I kinda pissed off the Ewoks so yeah 

Meagan: oh

Chris: almost forgot you're my sister

Meagan: I know some how I always knew

Chris: even when you kissed me

Meagan: I didn't kiss you I punched youtits and go already 

Chris: WERE GOING BY THE SCRIPT!!!!


Meagan: OK calm your hands and go already

  Later....

Conor: why  hello son

Chris: well hi mister never comes to my baseball games

 Conor: you played baseball? whatever so how bout you join the Dark side off the force

Chris: how bout you suck my big ol black sweaty ba....

Technical Difficulties..... please "stick" around   

Dark Jaconis: haha its me but now I'm the Dark lord of evilness....anyways Chris your friends are walking into a trap I have my best men ready to ambush your friends on Endoor....oh I'm afraid the Death Star's shield will be on when your friends come

Chris: well should have figured 

meanwhile...

Drew: alright we've taken over the station now time to blow it up

Meagan: wasn't this a bit to easy

 Stormtrooper: stop right there 

Drew: well you spoke too soon

 Rees: I hate being your dog thing Drew

now back in space...

Admiral Dallas: alright there's the Death Star...but the shields are still up and there's a fleet right there.....huh.....IT'S A TRAP!!!!!

Jacob: doesn't this just make you mad go ahead strike me down

 Chris: it's actually kinda cool  to watch

Jacob: that's Ok...because I did "Come here in a Time machine YOU MADE!!!"

Chris: wait no it "I come here in a time machine YOU INVENTED!!!"

Jacob: well..."Conor I don't think were In Montana any longer"

Chris: what not even close it "Toto I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

Jacob: "Alien phone home"

Chris: Dude come I want to kill you it's "E.T. phone home"

Jacob: "Go forward make my hour"


Chris: IT'S "Go AHEAD make my Day" and that's it I'm going to kill you

Conor: ha blocked 

Meanwhile...

Drew: well what now

James: Nick I'm sure about this

Nick: it's all part of the plan now go attract them

James: hey over here!!

Stormtrooper: stop right there come on 
Ewok: attack!!!!

Drew: come on grab some guns

 Rees: really because I was thinking of just sitting here and barking at them because I'm dog

Drew: just shut up and shoot....pew too pew too pew too

Meagan:pew too pew too come on this way to the station 

Meanwhile...Conor: come my son join the Dark side

Chris: NO I'm going to jump up here

Conor: you better get down by the time I count to three.....One........Two.......Three....that's it I'm throwing my lightsaber

Chris: AH

Conor: come on out you know "I love the scent of Fire in the Morning"

Chris: aahhhh it's "I love the smell of Napalm in the morning"

Conor: "you can't take the truth"

Chris: it's "you can't handle the truth"

Conor: "you're gonna require a larger boat"

Chris: ahhhhh I gonna kill you!!! it's "you're gonna need a bigger boat"

Conor: wow

Chris: I hate you guys and how you miss say quotes ahhhh

Conor: aaahhhh you cut off my masterba....

Technical Difficulties....Please "hang" around

Conor: ah you cut off my arm!!!!

Imperial Officer: sir our troops are getting killed by teddy bears

Jacob: really? those were my best troops....man my army sucks

On Endor...

Drew: Nick open the door 

Nick: OK lets see almost got it aaahhhhhh whoa!

Drew: well he got shot

Meagan: aaahh

Drew: not you too

Stormtrooper: stop right there 

Meagan: pew too pew too

Drew: that was awesome

 Rees: guys I have a tank walker thing 

Drew: great shoot open the door

On the Death Star....

Jacob: great now strike him down and your journey to the Dark side will be complete

Chris: no I'll never join the Dark side of the force

Jacob: then you will die 

Back to Endor...

Drew: RUN!!! it's gonna blow up

BBBBBOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!

Caleb: The shield is down come on lets head inside

Jacob: hahahahahah

Chris: Father help me 

Conor: I don't know....

Chris: Dear god he wanted me to kill you

Conor: True very true

Chris: ahhh this feels really bad please help

Conor: well because you said please 

Jacob: what are you doing...aaahhhh I knew I should have not put in this giant hole

Chris: come lets go

Caleb: alright shoot the power station 

Rebel: no freaking way I thought we were coming here to sip tea with the stormtroopers....whatever.....missile pew too 

Conor: take off my helmetChris: OK

Conor: no not really I'll die aahhhh I'm choking aaahhhh

Chris: goodbye Father

Conor: aaahhhh

BOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!

Dallas: yay!!! I did nothing 

Later.....Drew: we won yeah 

Chris: Hi guys

Meagan: hey Chris 

Chris: you guys!

Drew: whats up

Chris: I killed my Dad bye guys 

Drew: you like him don't you 

Meagan: Drew hes my brother 

Drew: wow so when you kissed him

Meagan: I didn't kiss him

Drew: whatever I'm going to do so many things to

Technical Difficulties Please "stand" by....

Jacob: now I'm Yoda but I'm a ghost 

Conor: hey guys

Cam: wait but you were old how are you young

Conor: I'm special addition 

Cam: you smug little hipster

Chris: and now the end 

Drew: Bu bu bu....Bird bird bu bu bu Bird Bird bu bu...bu Bird  

Credits.....well really just what everybody was...and in no order at all                                       

                 Drew-Han Solo                                                
                 Chris-Luke Skywalker                                          
                 Rees-Chewbacca                                        
                 Nick-R2-D2                                         
                 James-Cp-3o                                        
                 Meagan-Princees Leia                                        

                 Ryan Reynolds-Meagan probably was thinking of him at some point                                         
                 Jacob-Yoda/Dark Sidious                                           
                 Cam- Obi-wan Kanobi                                         
                 Conor- Darth Vader                                       
                  Dallas-Admiral Akbar                                          
                  Christen-Jabba The Hut                                           
                  Oriana-weird eye thing that comes out of that giant door                                         
                  Zack-Boba Fett                                           
       I think thats it I don't know and don't really care                                           


             Directed by-Drew                                          

             Created by-Drew                                           

              Executive Producer-Drew                                            

             Writer- Drew                                             

             Pretty much..... Everything was Drew
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