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  • Madi Christ

                                                         STAR BIRDS
                                                           Episode V 
                                                  The Empire Sings back
                                 You know I have to say this is my Favorite one.
                          Manly because there's no Death Star and R2 doesn't die.
                                Also because there's more fighting scenes.
                            Anyways all of you have seen Star Wars now right?
                       If you have not yet then get off this site now and watch it.
          Because if you don't you're going to be as lost as a baby in a strip club
               and really you don't have to like the movies you just have to watch them
                              If you have not seen the movies then go to China 
                                            Because you're a communist
                       
                 

Chris: Come in Drew this echo 5

Drew: call me echo 7 dang it... you call your self echo 5 but don't call me echo 7

Chris: come in echo 7 this is Chris

Drew: gosh dang Chris 

Chris: what

Drew: nothing never mind anyways I'm heading in

Chris: alright see you there

Drew: wait have you seen anything out there interesting

Chris: no right now I just throwing rocks at this thing that fell from space

Drew: um how bout you check that out

Chris: alright

Animal:rawr!

Chris: ah! a muppet ahhh

A few hours later...

Chris: where am I....wait there's my light saber...dang.. it's to far away...wait I have the force...alright I have it now time to cut myself down....AAAHHHH! I cut off my toes ..well at least I'm down

Animal: rawr!

Chris: ahhh

Animal: ah you cut off my arm...man I hope you get your Hand cut off

Chris: yeah and the empire will build another Death Star

At the base...

Drew: well I'm leaving

Meagan: wait why

Drew: well I've done way more then I wanted for you guys

Meagan: but we need you

Drew: we, or I

Meagan: wait what

Drew: I see what's going on you have the hots for me

Meagan: yeah right...you know what go ahead and leave good bye

Drew: baby come back ahhh any fool could see I'm nothing without you...baby come back you come can blame it all on me

James: um sir we haven't seen master Chris any where

Drew: I'll go find him

James: but It's cold out there

Drew: no really I thought this was Tatonine...and it was warm outside...but it's Hoth isn't it and it's cold

James: fine go you dick

Chris: Cam.....Cam....Cam

Cam: hello 

Chris: Cam...

Cam: why are you calling  it's 3 am what do you want

Chris: Cam

Cam: look I don't have time for this go to Yoda on Dagobar 

Chris: Cam

Cam: bye...

Drew: there you are kid

Chris: Cam, Yoda Dagobar

Drew: you high, because I know I am....well my animal thing died I'll put you inside....now that I have him inside I'll climb in....ew I thought they smelled bad on the outside I'm not climbing in there

Chris: ah it stinks in here

Drew: sorry kid 

Chris: you bitch

Drew: look a ship..... over here!!

Chris: really? I just climbed in

Back at base...

Chris: well I'm glad I'm better

Meagan: just heard you got back

Drew: um heylloo...see you've come back

Meagan: why you  Scruffy little Nerfhurter 

Drew: oh that really hurts I'm going to take that to heart

Meagan: oh I'm sorry I didn't know you'd take that to heart 

Drew: I was kidding..

Chris: You know in the script you have you kiss me

Meagan: heck with the script 

Chris: ah you punched me ahhh

Meagan: if you need a kiss...then you can kiss my ass bam exit in style 

Drew: dang she's a bit of a bad ass 

Chris: lets just say she kissed me

Genral:  we're under attack

Drew: freaking really

Rebel: Man where screwed 

Rebel: yeah probably right but lets try....I mean at least they don't have giant camel tanks

Rebel: crap they have giant camel tanks 

Rebel: how did they get those down I thought we had an ion cannon

Chris: all right here's my snow speeder ready Dak 

Dak: I fell like I could take the entire empire myself 

Chris: well good for you because I just got out of a medical bed....I fell like crap

Dak: oh I'm sorry

Chris: you're not sorry

Dak: yeah i'm not

Chris: well lets go destroy some empire....It's good they don't have giant camel tanks

Stormtrooper: we do have giant camel tanks

Chris: what are you doing here

Stormtrooper: just walked in

Chris: GET THE FUCK OUT OUR SECRET BASE!!

Meanwhile...

Drew: hey guys

Meagan:  Drew what are you still doing here

Drew: oh well there's just some Imperial Ships up there you know 

Meagan: oh yeah

Rebel: Imperial troops have entered the base

Nick: LETS GET OUT OF HERE!!!

Meagan: but there's no more ships

Drew: man if only you guy had a smuggler with a ship 

Meagan: Drew please get us out of here

Drew: I don't know I thought I was a scruffy NerfHerder 

Meagan: gosh dang it Drew 

Storm Trooper: Come on over here I here voices

Meagan: Drew they're coming

Drew: sucks for you I'm just a smuggler...maybe I would take you if you said  sorry

Meagan: I'm sorry

Drew: no I can't be expecting it...I don't want your pity

Meagan: uhhh

Stormtrooper: come on they're over here

Meagan: ehhh

Stormtrooper: almost there

Meagan: Drew I'm sorry

Drew: alright lets go

Stormtrooper: Pew too pew too

Rees: lets lift off already

Drew: really because I thought we'd stay here I thought that seemed fun

Meagan: just go!!!

StormTrooper: Pew too pew too darn they got away 

Dark Conor: did you really think shooting at it would stop it

Meanwhile....

Drew: Alright Nick lets go in the x-wing that's magically in the middle of  Hoth

Nick: alright

Drew: where not going to meet up with the others were going to Dagoba

Nick: alright

Drew: wait why did you come 

Nick: too much yelling with the others 


Meanwhile...

Drew: oh no there's some Thai Fighters

Rees: and there's Imperial Ships

Drew: I'm going into that asteroid field   

James: sir the odds of successfully guiding through a asteroid field is fifty ga jillion filiilion  billion to one 

Drew: never tell me the odds unless they're good odds then you can tell me the odds 

Rees: look there's a hole lets go in it

Drew: that's what she hahaha lets go in

Meanwhile...

Chris: look there's Dagoba 

Nick: I'm sorry what I was just turning off the engines

Drew: wait no now we're gonna crash aaahhhhh

Nick: huh guess I didn't think that one trough 

Chris: come on lets find Yoda

Jacob: I'm Yoda  

Chris: really 

Jacob: yeah but I prefer Jacob

Chris: huh well I need training

Jacob: alright lets get started


Jacob: alright that's good for today 

Chris: wait what's in there

Jacob: just a cave I'd say don't go in there but you wont listen

Chris: I'm going in

Jacob: knew you wouldn't listen

Chris: wonder what's in there

Person: boo

Chris: ahhh it's Dark Conor 

Jacob: oh my god you killed him

Chris: it was Dark Conor

Jacob: WHAT!!! no that's just a local who dresses like him

Chris: WHAT!! well why does he look like me

Jacob: I wanted you guys to meet because looked a like..but you killed him

Chris: oh my god!!!!

Meanwhile....

Meagan: there's something out there

Drew: why aren't you kitchen 

Meagan: I'm serious

Drew: I'm serious too why aren't you in the kitchen

Rees: there's something out there

Drew: lets go check it out

Rees: wow look at these things

Drew: pew too...wow it shook...wait a second...pew too...I don't thinks this a cave 

Meagan: lets get out of here

Drew: alright 

Meagan: The Cave is collapsing

Drew: I don't think this is a cave 

James: that was close but now look an Imperial Ship

Drew: really because I thought  it was paper clips 

James: I was just pointing it out 

Drew: sorry but we needed comic relief 

Meagan: what are we going to do 

Drew: I have an Idea 

Imperial Officer:  where did he go no ship that size has a cloaking device 

Storm trooper: well we've been out in space for like 4 years maybe the developed one

Imperial Officer: huh didn't think of that and I was just thinking they were hiding on the back of the ship thanks for talking me out of looking there

Drew: alright we'll float away on with there garbage 

Meagan: then what 

Drew: I know someone Caleb Carsidiaan 

Meagan: the Carsidiaan sector I've never heard of that

Drew: I said someone not somewhere anyways hes a friend in cloud city ...alright going into hyperspace 

One Hyperspace later...

Drew: there's Cloud City ...alright I'm going to land there

Rees: wait you have to go to the boarder line 

Drew: Man I hate these

Guard: passport please

Drew: here you go

Guard: um I see that this expired a few thousand years ago

Drew: what...but it says it will expire in two years

Guard: here we go by B.C 

Drew: but it's A.D

Guard: it is a long time ago...

Drew: pew too...alright now I'll land 

Rees: you don't think they'll get mad

Drew: nah...look there's Caleb

Caleb: hey there Drew...who are these people normally I'm the one to bring uninvited guests 

Drew: this is Princess Meagan, Cp-James-o, and you know Reesbacca 

Caleb: well come on I'll treat you guys to dinner that's Dinner and Nothing else

Drew: alright 

Droid: why Hello 

James: why hello how you babe names James...but my friends call me James 

Droid: come right this way

James: alright 

Rees: hm where did James go

Caleb: alright here's your room Dinner that's dinner and nothing else will be soon 

Rees: hey guy look at James

Drew: James what happened 

James: well I thought me and this one droid were just making out really weird..but then she cut off my arms 

Drew: well that's better then the first date I ever had...you see it's actually pretty funny 

Caleb: dinner that's Dinner and nothing else is ready 

Drew: I'll tell you some other time it's not like I'm being frozen anytime soon 

Dark Conor: (farts) oh crap I'm sorry I thought I had more time

Drew: pew too pew too pew too 

Conor: oh can't touch me...can't touch me ...just like the bad guy from lethal weapon two I got Diplomatic Immunity so Caleb you can't sue ...I can capture bases ..even go in Hyper space...I can Kill and loot don't give a hoot even touch the Princess's teet  

Meagan: no you can't 

Conor: I'm not finished...dang it I lost my place well bring them in I'll be there shortly 

Drew: dang probably should of shot them while he was singing 

Meanwhile...

Chris: I sense something my friends are in trouble

Jacob: really wow you got control of the force fast 

Chris: well Drew did post is to SpaceBook it's on his wall 

Jacob: oh well thought I was a good teacher there 

Chris: I need to save them 

Jacob: you can't confront Conor..ah who I kidding your not listening 

Chris: I'll be back soon 

Jacob: just remember you still have to pay for the lessons

Chris: even If I don't come to them 

Jacob: yeah

Chris: what ever well bye

Cam: hes our only help 

Jacob: no there is another

Cam: who his sister...she's barely even helped 

Jacob: well I think shes pretty important 

Cam: whatever 

At Cloud City...

Conor: you will tell us information

Drew: I'll never 

Conor: then I'll make you watch a full episode of GLee 

Drew: no please I'll tell you every thing 

Glee Actor: Babe I wont to marry you in High school

Other Glee actor: oh we're such good roll models to the audience 

Drew: you can't get married in high school it's too soon it will last 

Glee actor: oh sweet Safety Dance  duh duh duh 

Drew: NO AHHH IT HURTS MY EYES AND EARS AHHHH 

Caleb: now I fell bad well better help them out...but I'll do later not like he's being frozen

A while later...

Conor: be ready to Freeze Drew Solo 

Caleb: wait what 

Drew: Rees take the care of the Princess for me  

Rees: probably wont

Drew: well bye guys 

Meagan: I love you

Drew: you wait now  to tell me when I'm being fro..

Conor: take them away 

Dallas Fett: I'll take him 

A while Later..

Chris: well I'm here better find Conor 

Conor: um right here

Chris: oh Hey 

Conor: just going to the bathroom 

Chris: oh

Conor: alright done 

Chris: so does going in the suit..

Conor: lets not talk about it 

Chris: so then lets battle

Conor: alright 

Caleb: hands up storm troopers

Meagan: thanks for saving us now lets go

Conor:  Oh my God Chris whats that 

Chris: what...AH you cut my hand off 

Conor: Chris I am your Father....and Uncle Ben was your Step uncle....and I dated Natalie Portman..and shes your mother 


Chris: No that's impossible 

Conor: which fact

Chris: all of them 

Conor; oh well join me on the dark side of the force

Chris: I'll never join you

Conor: did Ben teach you nothing you're supposed to listen to your elders 

Chris: No I'm gonna jump down that hole 

Caleb: dang they got away with Drew 

Meagan: there headed for ZackBas Palace

Nick: lets wait 4 years to save him

Meagan: sounds good 

StormTrooper: stop! pew too pew too 

Caleb: hurry on the Millennium Falcon 

Storm Trooper: pew too pew too

Caleb: now lets get out of here

Storm Trooper: man we suck at aiming

Chris: Meagan Meagan

Meagan: Hello

Chris: hey um I'm back at cloud city and Kinda just hanging here

Meagan: I'l come get you

Chris: oh and I lost my hand so lets go 

Caleb: there he is 

Meagan: Chris are you alright

Chris: well I lost my hand 

Meagan: Chris they got Drew

Chris: I couldn't care less right now I just want to tend to my cut off Hand 

Later...

Chris: well I guess this Robot hand is cool

Meagan: to bad Drew is gone

Chris: don't worry well get him in 4 years 

To be continued ...


















 
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