STAR BIRDS
Episode V
The Empire Sings back
You know I have to say this is my Favorite one.
Manly because there's no Death Star and R2 doesn't die.
Also because there's more fighting scenes.
Anyways all of you have seen Star Wars now right?
If you have not yet then get off this site now and watch it.
Because if you don't you're going to be as lost as a baby in a strip club
and really you don't have to like the movies you just have to watch them
If you have not seen the movies then go to China
Because you're a communist
Chris: Come in Drew this echo 5
Drew: call me echo 7 dang it... you call your self echo 5 but don't call me echo 7
Chris: come in echo 7 this is Chris
Drew: gosh dang Chris
Chris: what
Drew: nothing never mind anyways I'm heading in
Chris: alright see you there
Drew: wait have you seen anything out there interesting
Chris: no right now I just throwing rocks at this thing that fell from space
Drew: um how bout you check that out
Chris: alright
Animal:rawr!
Chris: ah! a muppet ahhh
A few hours later...
Chris: where am I....wait there's my light saber...dang.. it's to far away...wait I have the force...alright I have it now time to cut myself down....AAAHHHH! I cut off my toes ..well at least I'm down
Animal: rawr!
Chris: ahhh
Animal: ah you cut off my arm...man I hope you get your Hand cut off
Chris: yeah and the empire will build another Death Star
At the base...
Drew: well I'm leaving
Meagan: wait why
Drew: well I've done way more then I wanted for you guys
Meagan: but we need you
Drew: we, or I
Meagan: wait what
Drew: I see what's going on you have the hots for me
Meagan: yeah right...you know what go ahead and leave good bye
Drew: baby come back ahhh any fool could see I'm nothing without you...baby come back you come can blame it all on me
James: um sir we haven't seen master Chris any where
Drew: I'll go find him
James: but It's cold out there
Drew: no really I thought this was Tatonine...and it was warm outside...but it's Hoth isn't it and it's cold
James: fine go you dick
Chris: Cam.....Cam....Cam
Cam: hello
Chris: Cam...
Cam: why are you calling it's 3 am what do you want
Chris: Cam
Cam: look I don't have time for this go to Yoda on Dagobar
Chris: Cam
Cam: bye...
Drew: there you are kid
Chris: Cam, Yoda Dagobar
Drew: you high, because I know I am....well my animal thing died I'll put you inside....now that I have him inside I'll climb in....ew I thought they smelled bad on the outside I'm not climbing in there
Chris: ah it stinks in here
Drew: sorry kid
Chris: you bitch
Drew: look a ship..... over here!!
Chris: really? I just climbed in
Back at base...
Chris: well I'm glad I'm better
Meagan: just heard you got back
Drew: um heylloo...see you've come back
Meagan: why you Scruffy little Nerfhurter
Drew: oh that really hurts I'm going to take that to heart
Meagan: oh I'm sorry I didn't know you'd take that to heart
Drew: I was kidding..
Chris: You know in the script you have you kiss me
Meagan: heck with the script
Chris: ah you punched me ahhh
Meagan: if you need a kiss...then you can kiss my ass bam exit in style
Drew: dang she's a bit of a bad ass
Chris: lets just say she kissed me
Genral: we're under attack
Drew: freaking really
Rebel: Man where screwed
Rebel: yeah probably right but lets try....I mean at least they don't have giant camel tanks
Rebel: crap they have giant camel tanks
Rebel: how did they get those down I thought we had an ion cannon
Chris: all right here's my snow speeder ready Dak
Dak: I fell like I could take the entire empire myself
Chris: well good for you because I just got out of a medical bed....I fell like crap
Dak: oh I'm sorry
Chris: you're not sorry
Dak: yeah i'm not
Chris: well lets go destroy some empire....It's good they don't have giant camel tanks
Stormtrooper: we do have giant camel tanks
Chris: what are you doing here
Stormtrooper: just walked in
Chris: GET THE FUCK OUT OUR SECRET BASE!!
Meanwhile...
Drew: hey guys
Meagan: Drew what are you still doing here
Drew: oh well there's just some Imperial Ships up there you know
Meagan: oh yeah
Rebel: Imperial troops have entered the base
Nick: LETS GET OUT OF HERE!!!
Meagan: but there's no more ships
Drew: man if only you guy had a smuggler with a ship
Meagan: Drew please get us out of here
Drew: I don't know I thought I was a scruffy NerfHerder
Meagan: gosh dang it Drew
Storm Trooper: Come on over here I here voices
Meagan: Drew they're coming
Drew: sucks for you I'm just a smuggler...maybe I would take you if you said sorry
Meagan: I'm sorry
Drew: no I can't be expecting it...I don't want your pity
Meagan: uhhh
Stormtrooper: come on they're over here
Meagan: ehhh
Stormtrooper: almost there
Meagan: Drew I'm sorry
Drew: alright lets go
Stormtrooper: Pew too pew too
Rees: lets lift off already
Drew: really because I thought we'd stay here I thought that seemed fun
Meagan: just go!!!
StormTrooper: Pew too pew too darn they got away
Dark Conor: did you really think shooting at it would stop it
Meanwhile....
Drew: Alright Nick lets go in the x-wing that's magically in the middle of Hoth
Nick: alright
Drew: where not going to meet up with the others were going to Dagoba
Nick: alright
Drew: wait why did you come
Nick: too much yelling with the others
Meanwhile...
Drew: oh no there's some Thai Fighters
Rees: and there's Imperial Ships
Drew: I'm going into that asteroid field
James: sir the odds of successfully guiding through a asteroid field is fifty ga jillion filiilion billion to one
Drew: never tell me the odds unless they're good odds then you can tell me the odds
Rees: look there's a hole lets go in it
Drew: that's what she hahaha lets go in
Meanwhile...
Chris: look there's Dagoba
Nick: I'm sorry what I was just turning off the engines
Drew: wait no now we're gonna crash aaahhhhh
Nick: huh guess I didn't think that one trough
Chris: come on lets find Yoda
Jacob: I'm Yoda
Chris: really
Jacob: yeah but I prefer Jacob
Chris: huh well I need training
Jacob: alright lets get started
Drew: call me echo 7 dang it... you call your self echo 5 but don't call me echo 7
Chris: come in echo 7 this is Chris
Drew: gosh dang Chris
Chris: what
Drew: nothing never mind anyways I'm heading in
Chris: alright see you there
Drew: wait have you seen anything out there interesting
Chris: no right now I just throwing rocks at this thing that fell from space
Drew: um how bout you check that out
Chris: alright
Animal:rawr!
Chris: ah! a muppet ahhh
A few hours later...
Chris: where am I....wait there's my light saber...dang.. it's to far away...wait I have the force...alright I have it now time to cut myself down....AAAHHHH! I cut off my toes ..well at least I'm down
Animal: rawr!
Chris: ahhh
Animal: ah you cut off my arm...man I hope you get your Hand cut off
Chris: yeah and the empire will build another Death Star
At the base...
Drew: well I'm leaving
Meagan: wait why
Drew: well I've done way more then I wanted for you guys
Meagan: but we need you
Drew: we, or I
Meagan: wait what
Drew: I see what's going on you have the hots for me
Meagan: yeah right...you know what go ahead and leave good bye
Drew: baby come back ahhh any fool could see I'm nothing without you...baby come back you come can blame it all on me
James: um sir we haven't seen master Chris any where
Drew: I'll go find him
James: but It's cold out there
Drew: no really I thought this was Tatonine...and it was warm outside...but it's Hoth isn't it and it's cold
James: fine go you dick
Chris: Cam.....Cam....Cam
Cam: hello
Chris: Cam...
Cam: why are you calling it's 3 am what do you want
Chris: Cam
Cam: look I don't have time for this go to Yoda on Dagobar
Chris: Cam
Cam: bye...
Drew: there you are kid
Chris: Cam, Yoda Dagobar
Drew: you high, because I know I am....well my animal thing died I'll put you inside....now that I have him inside I'll climb in....ew I thought they smelled bad on the outside I'm not climbing in there
Chris: ah it stinks in here
Drew: sorry kid
Chris: you bitch
Drew: look a ship..... over here!!
Chris: really? I just climbed in
Back at base...
Chris: well I'm glad I'm better
Meagan: just heard you got back
Drew: um heylloo...see you've come back
Meagan: why you Scruffy little Nerfhurter
Drew: oh that really hurts I'm going to take that to heart
Meagan: oh I'm sorry I didn't know you'd take that to heart
Drew: I was kidding..
Chris: You know in the script you have you kiss me
Meagan: heck with the script
Chris: ah you punched me ahhh
Meagan: if you need a kiss...then you can kiss my ass bam exit in style
Drew: dang she's a bit of a bad ass
Chris: lets just say she kissed me
Genral: we're under attack
Drew: freaking really
Rebel: Man where screwed
Rebel: yeah probably right but lets try....I mean at least they don't have giant camel tanks
Rebel: crap they have giant camel tanks
Rebel: how did they get those down I thought we had an ion cannon
Chris: all right here's my snow speeder ready Dak
Dak: I fell like I could take the entire empire myself
Chris: well good for you because I just got out of a medical bed....I fell like crap
Dak: oh I'm sorry
Chris: you're not sorry
Dak: yeah i'm not
Chris: well lets go destroy some empire....It's good they don't have giant camel tanks
Stormtrooper: we do have giant camel tanks
Chris: what are you doing here
Stormtrooper: just walked in
Chris: GET THE FUCK OUT OUR SECRET BASE!!
Meanwhile...
Drew: hey guys
Meagan: Drew what are you still doing here
Drew: oh well there's just some Imperial Ships up there you know
Meagan: oh yeah
Rebel: Imperial troops have entered the base
Nick: LETS GET OUT OF HERE!!!
Meagan: but there's no more ships
Drew: man if only you guy had a smuggler with a ship
Meagan: Drew please get us out of here
Drew: I don't know I thought I was a scruffy NerfHerder
Meagan: gosh dang it Drew
Storm Trooper: Come on over here I here voices
Meagan: Drew they're coming
Drew: sucks for you I'm just a smuggler...maybe I would take you if you said sorry
Meagan: I'm sorry
Drew: no I can't be expecting it...I don't want your pity
Meagan: uhhh
Stormtrooper: come on they're over here
Meagan: ehhh
Stormtrooper: almost there
Meagan: Drew I'm sorry
Drew: alright lets go
Stormtrooper: Pew too pew too
Rees: lets lift off already
Drew: really because I thought we'd stay here I thought that seemed fun
Meagan: just go!!!
StormTrooper: Pew too pew too darn they got away
Dark Conor: did you really think shooting at it would stop it
Meanwhile....
Drew: Alright Nick lets go in the x-wing that's magically in the middle of Hoth
Nick: alright
Drew: where not going to meet up with the others were going to Dagoba
Nick: alright
Drew: wait why did you come
Nick: too much yelling with the others
Meanwhile...
Drew: oh no there's some Thai Fighters
Rees: and there's Imperial Ships
Drew: I'm going into that asteroid field
James: sir the odds of successfully guiding through a asteroid field is fifty ga jillion filiilion billion to one
Drew: never tell me the odds unless they're good odds then you can tell me the odds
Rees: look there's a hole lets go in it
Drew: that's what she hahaha lets go in
Meanwhile...
Chris: look there's Dagoba
Nick: I'm sorry what I was just turning off the engines
Drew: wait no now we're gonna crash aaahhhhh
Nick: huh guess I didn't think that one trough
Chris: come on lets find Yoda
Jacob: I'm Yoda
Chris: really
Jacob: yeah but I prefer Jacob
Chris: huh well I need training
Jacob: alright lets get started
Jacob: alright that's good for today
Chris: wait what's in there
Jacob: just a cave I'd say don't go in there but you wont listen
Chris: I'm going in
Jacob: knew you wouldn't listen
Chris: wonder what's in there
Person: boo
Chris: ahhh it's Dark Conor
Jacob: oh my god you killed him
Chris: it was Dark Conor
Jacob: WHAT!!! no that's just a local who dresses like him
Chris: WHAT!! well why does he look like me
Jacob: I wanted you guys to meet because looked a like..but you killed him
Chris: oh my god!!!!
Meanwhile....
Meagan: there's something out there
Drew: why aren't you kitchen
Meagan: I'm serious
Drew: I'm serious too why aren't you in the kitchen
Rees: there's something out there
Drew: lets go check it out
Rees: wow look at these things
Drew: pew too...wow it shook...wait a second...pew too...I don't thinks this a cave
Meagan: lets get out of here
Drew: alright
Meagan: The Cave is collapsing
Drew: I don't think this is a cave
James: that was close but now look an Imperial Ship
Drew: really because I thought it was paper clips
James: I was just pointing it out
Drew: sorry but we needed comic relief
Meagan: what are we going to do
Drew: I have an Idea
Imperial Officer: where did he go no ship that size has a cloaking device
Storm trooper: well we've been out in space for like 4 years maybe the developed one
Imperial Officer: huh didn't think of that and I was just thinking they were hiding on the back of the ship thanks for talking me out of looking there
Drew: alright we'll float away on with there garbage
Meagan: then what
Drew: I know someone Caleb Carsidiaan
Meagan: the Carsidiaan sector I've never heard of that
Drew: I said someone not somewhere anyways hes a friend in cloud city ...alright going into hyperspace
One Hyperspace later...
Drew: there's Cloud City ...alright I'm going to land there
Rees: wait you have to go to the boarder line
Drew: Man I hate these
Guard: passport please
Drew: here you go
Guard: um I see that this expired a few thousand years ago
Drew: what...but it says it will expire in two years
Guard: here we go by B.C
Drew: but it's A.D
Guard: it is a long time ago...
Drew: pew too...alright now I'll land
Rees: you don't think they'll get mad
Drew: nah...look there's Caleb
Caleb: hey there Drew...who are these people normally I'm the one to bring uninvited guests
Drew: this is Princess Meagan, Cp-James-o, and you know Reesbacca
Caleb: well come on I'll treat you guys to dinner that's Dinner and Nothing else
Drew: alright
Droid: why Hello
James: why hello how you babe names James...but my friends call me James
Droid: come right this way
James: alright
Rees: hm where did James go
Caleb: alright here's your room Dinner that's dinner and nothing else will be soon
Rees: hey guy look at James
Drew: James what happened
James: well I thought me and this one droid were just making out really weird..but then she cut off my arms
Drew: well that's better then the first date I ever had...you see it's actually pretty funny
Caleb: dinner that's Dinner and nothing else is ready
Drew: I'll tell you some other time it's not like I'm being frozen anytime soon
Dark Conor: (farts) oh crap I'm sorry I thought I had more time
Drew: pew too pew too pew too
Conor: oh can't touch me...can't touch me ...just like the bad guy from lethal weapon two I got Diplomatic Immunity so Caleb you can't sue ...I can capture bases ..even go in Hyper space...I can Kill and loot don't give a hoot even touch the Princess's teet
Meagan: no you can't
Conor: I'm not finished...dang it I lost my place well bring them in I'll be there shortly
Drew: dang probably should of shot them while he was singing
Meanwhile...
Chris: I sense something my friends are in trouble
Jacob: really wow you got control of the force fast
Chris: well Drew did post is to SpaceBook it's on his wall
Jacob: oh well thought I was a good teacher there
Chris: I need to save them
Jacob: you can't confront Conor..ah who I kidding your not listening
Chris: I'll be back soon
Jacob: just remember you still have to pay for the lessons
Chris: even If I don't come to them
Jacob: yeah
Chris: what ever well bye
Cam: hes our only help
Jacob: no there is another
Cam: who his sister...she's barely even helped
Jacob: well I think shes pretty important
Cam: whatever
At Cloud City...
Conor: you will tell us information
Drew: I'll never
Conor: then I'll make you watch a full episode of GLee
Drew: no please I'll tell you every thing
Glee Actor: Babe I wont to marry you in High school
Other Glee actor: oh we're such good roll models to the audience
Drew: you can't get married in high school it's too soon it will last
Glee actor: oh sweet Safety Dance duh duh duh
Drew: NO AHHH IT HURTS MY EYES AND EARS AHHHH
Caleb: now I fell bad well better help them out...but I'll do later not like he's being frozen
A while later...
Conor: be ready to Freeze Drew Solo
Caleb: wait what
Drew: Rees take the care of the Princess for me
Rees: probably wont
Drew: well bye guys
Meagan: I love you
Drew: you wait now to tell me when I'm being fro..
Conor: take them away
Dallas Fett: I'll take him
A while Later..
Chris: well I'm here better find Conor
Conor: um right here
Chris: oh Hey
Conor: just going to the bathroom
Chris: oh
Conor: alright done
Chris: so does going in the suit..
Conor: lets not talk about it
Chris: so then lets battle
Conor: alright
Caleb: hands up storm troopers
Meagan: thanks for saving us now lets go
Conor: Oh my God Chris whats that
Chris: what...AH you cut my hand off
Conor: Chris I am your Father....and Uncle Ben was your Step uncle....and I dated Natalie Portman..and shes your mother
Chris: No that's impossible
Conor: which fact
Chris: all of them
Conor; oh well join me on the dark side of the force
Chris: I'll never join you
Conor: did Ben teach you nothing you're supposed to listen to your elders
Chris: No I'm gonna jump down that hole
Caleb: dang they got away with Drew
Meagan: there headed for ZackBas Palace
Nick: lets wait 4 years to save him
Meagan: sounds good
StormTrooper: stop! pew too pew too
Caleb: hurry on the Millennium Falcon
Storm Trooper: pew too pew too
Caleb: now lets get out of here
Storm Trooper: man we suck at aiming
Chris: Meagan Meagan
Meagan: Hello
Chris: hey um I'm back at cloud city and Kinda just hanging here
Meagan: I'l come get you
Chris: oh and I lost my hand so lets go
Caleb: there he is
Meagan: Chris are you alright
Chris: well I lost my hand
Meagan: Chris they got Drew
Chris: I couldn't care less right now I just want to tend to my cut off Hand
Later...
Chris: well I guess this Robot hand is cool
Meagan: to bad Drew is gone
Chris: don't worry well get him in 4 years
To be continued ...
Chris: wait what's in there
Jacob: just a cave I'd say don't go in there but you wont listen
Chris: I'm going in
Jacob: knew you wouldn't listen
Chris: wonder what's in there
Person: boo
Chris: ahhh it's Dark Conor
Jacob: oh my god you killed him
Chris: it was Dark Conor
Jacob: WHAT!!! no that's just a local who dresses like him
Chris: WHAT!! well why does he look like me
Jacob: I wanted you guys to meet because looked a like..but you killed him
Chris: oh my god!!!!
Meanwhile....
Meagan: there's something out there
Drew: why aren't you kitchen
Meagan: I'm serious
Drew: I'm serious too why aren't you in the kitchen
Rees: there's something out there
Drew: lets go check it out
Rees: wow look at these things
Drew: pew too...wow it shook...wait a second...pew too...I don't thinks this a cave
Meagan: lets get out of here
Drew: alright
Meagan: The Cave is collapsing
Drew: I don't think this is a cave
James: that was close but now look an Imperial Ship
Drew: really because I thought it was paper clips
James: I was just pointing it out
Drew: sorry but we needed comic relief
Meagan: what are we going to do
Drew: I have an Idea
Imperial Officer: where did he go no ship that size has a cloaking device
Storm trooper: well we've been out in space for like 4 years maybe the developed one
Imperial Officer: huh didn't think of that and I was just thinking they were hiding on the back of the ship thanks for talking me out of looking there
Drew: alright we'll float away on with there garbage
Meagan: then what
Drew: I know someone Caleb Carsidiaan
Meagan: the Carsidiaan sector I've never heard of that
Drew: I said someone not somewhere anyways hes a friend in cloud city ...alright going into hyperspace
One Hyperspace later...
Drew: there's Cloud City ...alright I'm going to land there
Rees: wait you have to go to the boarder line
Drew: Man I hate these
Guard: passport please
Drew: here you go
Guard: um I see that this expired a few thousand years ago
Drew: what...but it says it will expire in two years
Guard: here we go by B.C
Drew: but it's A.D
Guard: it is a long time ago...
Drew: pew too...alright now I'll land
Rees: you don't think they'll get mad
Drew: nah...look there's Caleb
Caleb: hey there Drew...who are these people normally I'm the one to bring uninvited guests
Drew: this is Princess Meagan, Cp-James-o, and you know Reesbacca
Caleb: well come on I'll treat you guys to dinner that's Dinner and Nothing else
Drew: alright
Droid: why Hello
James: why hello how you babe names James...but my friends call me James
Droid: come right this way
James: alright
Rees: hm where did James go
Caleb: alright here's your room Dinner that's dinner and nothing else will be soon
Rees: hey guy look at James
Drew: James what happened
James: well I thought me and this one droid were just making out really weird..but then she cut off my arms
Drew: well that's better then the first date I ever had...you see it's actually pretty funny
Caleb: dinner that's Dinner and nothing else is ready
Drew: I'll tell you some other time it's not like I'm being frozen anytime soon
Dark Conor: (farts) oh crap I'm sorry I thought I had more time
Drew: pew too pew too pew too
Conor: oh can't touch me...can't touch me ...just like the bad guy from lethal weapon two I got Diplomatic Immunity so Caleb you can't sue ...I can capture bases ..even go in Hyper space...I can Kill and loot don't give a hoot even touch the Princess's teet
Meagan: no you can't
Conor: I'm not finished...dang it I lost my place well bring them in I'll be there shortly
Drew: dang probably should of shot them while he was singing
Meanwhile...
Chris: I sense something my friends are in trouble
Jacob: really wow you got control of the force fast
Chris: well Drew did post is to SpaceBook it's on his wall
Jacob: oh well thought I was a good teacher there
Chris: I need to save them
Jacob: you can't confront Conor..ah who I kidding your not listening
Chris: I'll be back soon
Jacob: just remember you still have to pay for the lessons
Chris: even If I don't come to them
Jacob: yeah
Chris: what ever well bye
Cam: hes our only help
Jacob: no there is another
Cam: who his sister...she's barely even helped
Jacob: well I think shes pretty important
Cam: whatever
At Cloud City...
Conor: you will tell us information
Drew: I'll never
Conor: then I'll make you watch a full episode of GLee
Drew: no please I'll tell you every thing
Glee Actor: Babe I wont to marry you in High school
Other Glee actor: oh we're such good roll models to the audience
Drew: you can't get married in high school it's too soon it will last
Glee actor: oh sweet Safety Dance duh duh duh
Drew: NO AHHH IT HURTS MY EYES AND EARS AHHHH
Caleb: now I fell bad well better help them out...but I'll do later not like he's being frozen
A while later...
Conor: be ready to Freeze Drew Solo
Caleb: wait what
Drew: Rees take the care of the Princess for me
Rees: probably wont
Drew: well bye guys
Meagan: I love you
Drew: you wait now to tell me when I'm being fro..
Conor: take them away
Dallas Fett: I'll take him
A while Later..
Chris: well I'm here better find Conor
Conor: um right here
Chris: oh Hey
Conor: just going to the bathroom
Chris: oh
Conor: alright done
Chris: so does going in the suit..
Conor: lets not talk about it
Chris: so then lets battle
Conor: alright
Caleb: hands up storm troopers
Meagan: thanks for saving us now lets go
Conor: Oh my God Chris whats that
Chris: what...AH you cut my hand off
Conor: Chris I am your Father....and Uncle Ben was your Step uncle....and I dated Natalie Portman..and shes your mother
Chris: No that's impossible
Conor: which fact
Chris: all of them
Conor; oh well join me on the dark side of the force
Chris: I'll never join you
Conor: did Ben teach you nothing you're supposed to listen to your elders
Chris: No I'm gonna jump down that hole
Caleb: dang they got away with Drew
Meagan: there headed for ZackBas Palace
Nick: lets wait 4 years to save him
Meagan: sounds good
StormTrooper: stop! pew too pew too
Caleb: hurry on the Millennium Falcon
Storm Trooper: pew too pew too
Caleb: now lets get out of here
Storm Trooper: man we suck at aiming
Chris: Meagan Meagan
Meagan: Hello
Chris: hey um I'm back at cloud city and Kinda just hanging here
Meagan: I'l come get you
Chris: oh and I lost my hand so lets go
Caleb: there he is
Meagan: Chris are you alright
Chris: well I lost my hand
Meagan: Chris they got Drew
Chris: I couldn't care less right now I just want to tend to my cut off Hand
Later...
Chris: well I guess this Robot hand is cool
Meagan: to bad Drew is gone
Chris: don't worry well get him in 4 years
To be continued ...
